Hello! Long time no post. LJ says I haven't updated for 13 weeks. Wow. That's over three months. I blame it on the fact that I wrote three--that's right, three--full on research papers last quarter, and that didn't make me want to do any other writing.

I'll do a longer update later, but right now I want to address the problem of unwanted attention that farewell_mask wrote about recently.

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Ever had those times when you absolutely feel beautiful, attractive, and generally good about yourself, then some jerk bothers you and totally ruins your mood by being pushy, demanding, and generally...creepy?

Most of us women, and some men, have experienced unwanted attention. I've blogged about some of those here and here. If you think about it, you can probably recall an occasion or two. Or three. Or...several, if you are a decent-looking woman. As a feminist, this type of thing really grinds my gears.

Let me just say right off the bat that not all unwanted attention is bad. Not all attention given to you is creepy, rude, and objectifying. I've had encounters before where people would try to chat me up in a polite and respectful way, and those encounters left me feeling even better, even if I did refuse their advances. But that's the thing--they were polite and respectful about trying to hit on me, and they stopped when I asked them to.

As long as you make it absolutely clear that you do not want any sexual/romantic attention from someone, then they should respect that and stop whatever the hell they're doing. It doesn't need to be rude either--just say, "please stop that, you're making me uncomfortable" or "I'm not interested in you that way" or similar. If they persist, THEY are being rude, and then you are absolutely justified in being rude back to them. When you tell people to bug off, you are NOT the jerk!!! They are the jerks for still giving you unwanted attention. Seriously, people--usually MEN--should get a clue.

I've developed a "Stare of DEATH" for occasions like these. I also now run to the authorities if I'm creeped out enough. I get called a bitch by creeps, but the people who count know that I'm in the right. I know it can be hard for us women in these situations because we're always told to "be nice," but quite honestly, when we aren't treated nicely by some people, we have no obligation at all to treat them nicely back.