Hello! Long time no post. LJ says I haven't updated for 13 weeks. Wow. That's over three months. I blame it on the fact that I wrote three--that's right, three--full on research papers last quarter, and that didn't make me want to do any other writing.

I'll do a longer update later, but right now I want to address the problem of unwanted attention that farewell_mask wrote about recently.

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Ever had those times when you absolutely feel beautiful, attractive, and generally good about yourself, then some jerk bothers you and totally ruins your mood by being pushy, demanding, and generally...creepy?

Most of us women, and some men, have experienced unwanted attention. I've blogged about some of those here and here. If you think about it, you can probably recall an occasion or two. Or three. Or...several, if you are a decent-looking woman. As a feminist, this type of thing really grinds my gears.

Let me just say right off the bat that not all unwanted attention is bad. Not all attention given to you is creepy, rude, and objectifying. I've had encounters before where people would try to chat me up in a polite and respectful way, and those encounters left me feeling even better, even if I did refuse their advances. But that's the thing--they were polite and respectful about trying to hit on me, and they stopped when I asked them to.

As long as you make it absolutely clear that you do not want any sexual/romantic attention from someone, then they should respect that and stop whatever the hell they're doing. It doesn't need to be rude either--just say, "please stop that, you're making me uncomfortable" or "I'm not interested in you that way" or similar. If they persist, THEY are being rude, and then you are absolutely justified in being rude back to them. When you tell people to bug off, you are NOT the jerk!!! They are the jerks for still giving you unwanted attention. Seriously, people--usually MEN--should get a clue.

I've developed a "Stare of DEATH" for occasions like these. I also now run to the authorities if I'm creeped out enough. I get called a bitch by creeps, but the people who count know that I'm in the right. I know it can be hard for us women in these situations because we're always told to "be nice," but quite honestly, when we aren't treated nicely by some people, we have no obligation at all to treat them nicely back.

I was on my way to take the train to my folding bike ride when this guy grabbed my hands, which were on my bike's handlebars, and started harassing me, saying "let me ride your bike, let me try it" over and over and puling on my handlebars, even as I said "NO! You can't ride in the train station, please just leave me alone!". The guy did piss off eventually, but he was staring at me and calling me all sorts of names as he was doing so, including "crazy lady" and "motherfucking bitch."

I HATE this sort of shit, where just because I am a woman, assholes like him think they can bully me, touch me and my bike, call me names, and just get away with it. I do NOT deserve this kind of treatment and will absolutely NOT take this shit lying down. I didn't want to escalate the situation too much and I was running late too, so I just went to a security guard and asked him to catch the guy and tell him not to do that to me or anyone else again. It was a slap on the wrist measure, and I could have chewed him out even more if I had the time, but I wish that getting hassled by security was enough to at least make him think twice about doing this to another person. Or not. Old habits die hard.

The bike ride went ok though. It didn't go so well at first...I got at Union station at exactly 8:30, and was looking for the other riders milling around the ticket machines, but couldn't find anyone. Two riders did sign up for the optional train ride, but I guess they weren't able to make it. Then there was this incident with the above idiot. I did meet up with Folderfanatic, one of the posters on Bikeforums though!

I got on the train (which was delayed several times by freight!!! Aren't passenger trains supposed to have priority?) and arrived at Anaheim stadium at 9:50. Couldn't find any of the other riders, unfortunately--I was looking for them in the parking lots and around the Rampart st. entrance, but nada. If any of you left because I wasn't there at 9:30am, I'm sorry! That was bad logistics on my part--I didn't account for the train getting delayed *that* much. Next time will be better, I promise. I looked around the parking lots until about 10:10 am, but no folder riders were to be found, so I just called v6v6v6, a regular on my folder ride, who was running late, and met up with him to do the ride with just the two of us.

We cycled the 15mi from Anaheim stadium to Huntington beach into a really nasty headwind...weather forecast said it was around 7-10mph!!! OMG, our legs hurt! I was riding the Kent because the piccolo's shifter/hub was being temperamental and kept ghost-shifting to 1st gear and that's definitely not safe to ride (she's at the bike shop now, the poor thing). Needless to say, I had a bit more difficulty with the winds than v6, who had his MuSL.

We got to the beach in record time--two hours. Not bad for two pootlers fighting against the wind! Had lunch at Ruby's, where I got the most protein-laden burger and they had and some hot tea. Hey, gotta replenish and warm up. V6 and I also talked about plans for future rides--we're definitely repeating the February one in the Orange Line bike path, and for the summer ride we are doing a beach bike path ride starting from either Redondo or Long Beach. After lunch, v6 and I briefly contemplated riding back with the tailwind, which would have been much easier than earlier when we had to fight the wind, but then we decided not to HTFU and just took a cab back to Anaheim stadium to give our poor legs a rest.

When we got back to Anaheim stadium, lo and behold--there were two other riders on Raleigh 20s, one folding, and one non-folding. They were there for the ride too, but somehow I missed them...I guess when I was looking for other riders, they were at the rampart street entrance, and they did ride on ahead of us. We chatted with them briefly, tried each other's bikes, and exchanged contact info, then v6 gave me a ride back to my place so I wouldn't have to take the train back. It turned out to be a nice ride, even if the start wasn't so good. :thumb:

Pictures will be up on the site by tonight. I don't have very many, but Joel, one of the guys on the R20s did take a lot and will be sending them to me.

...that you put your music ahead of my well-being. Not cool, especially in light of the fact that you just left me behind for the weekend to go do your musicky thing (which I would've done too, had things been different) without so much as a kind word of goodbye to me.

You're right. It has become a bone of contention between us. I have to talk to you about it when you get back.

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I had a dream...or rather a nightmare, that McCain died and Palin got shot up to the top of the ticket, with Lieberman filling in for veep. Then the two fuc...*cough*--I mean, Republicans--went on an all-out mudslinging campaign against Obama and eventually won the election. I know that it's not very likely to happen, but still...*shudder*

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And people wonder why I can't sleep.

For those of you that haven't heard---I'm going to China! Yay!!! However, I'm stuck right at SFO (San Francisco airport) because of a stuuuuupid flight delay. 6hrs at the airport gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah.

Oh well, it's ok. Thank T-mobile for wifi access.

On another note, my grandfather passed away yesterday, right while I was packing my clothes for this trip. I feel really sad and a bit guilty that I'm going to China instead of going back to the RP to see him, but then I realized he'd like it better if I was going out, learning and exploring the world instead of grieving for him. He was big on that, my lolo. The grieving can wait--right now, it's all about getting all I can from this experience, and everything I get from this trip will have been a tribute to my lolo, who always encouraged me to see all that I could see and learn all that I could learn.

So I woke up this morning feeling like crap, but I dragged myself out of bed. Why? Because I was expecting a nice breakfast that would help a LOT with my sickness and mood. However, when I got to the kitchen...

IT WAS EMPTY. My food was not there.

WHY?!?! Why the fuck would you throw away a perfectly good, half-eaten Thai duck dinner?!?!? Specifically, MY perfectly good, half-eaten, Thai duck dinner, with a bowl of Tom Yum seafood soup on the side?!?! IT'S DUCK, people. Duck is freaking expensive. So is the seafood in the Tom Yum soup. Teh bf bought it for me because I'm sick and I need cheering up and healthy food. That's $10 down the drain--teh bf ate the other $10 worth of food, and he was saving my half for when I felt well enough to eat. Now I'm awake at 5:30am with NOTHING good to eat. I have to content myself with canned stuff or instant ramen instead of a wonderful, spicy Tom Yum soup and duck meal.

If you're going to throw food away, ASK, dammit. And if no one is there to say yea or nay as was in this case, because the decongestant I took knocked me out at around 7:30pm last night, give it the benefit of the doubt and throw it in the fridge. The terrible waste of duck that happened today would've been avoided if my family members just followed the above instructions. But nooooooo. They don't. They just throw away good food.

I want my duck, dammit. Somebody better buy me a replacement, or else I will be ornery for the rest of the day.

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So as you have surmised from the above rant, I'm sick. Like, really sick. It's a particularly nasty bug that produces flu-like symptoms. My nose is congested and/or runny, my sinuses hurt like hell, my head hurts, my throat is raw, and it seems like all my muscles hurt. Sounds like the flu, right? Except I shouldn't have the flu because I got a flu-shot before the season, like a good sheep should. Damn it. Damn it to Heck.

I think stress is the reason my sickness is as bad as it is. Commuting 6hrs a day then being in school from 9-5 doesn't help. I do get every other day off because I only go to class on MWF and TThSSu are free, but still. Sigh. Bedrest it is for the rest of the weekend.

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Election time, and Gravel is still in the race, people! For those of you who were supporting Kucinich and now have no one to support, check Gravel out. From blog.wired.com:

"...you will take the oppressive nature of the state and marry it with the oppressive nature of religion, and that is the ultimate oppression of human beings."

WOW. That is the first time I've heard of a political figure say in no uncertain terms that it is NOT right to keep injecting religious thought into everything. See, this is why you who can vote should support him.

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I'm organizing a charity folding bike ride on April 19. If you want to join, check out http://socal.folder.ride.googlepages.com. It's not fully up yet because my illness has sidelined my working on the site, but it should be up by tomorrow.

1) UCLA Choral Concert is tonight, 8pm @ Royce Hall, UCLA. We'll be doing Handel's Messiah, Christmas music, and the world premiere of Steve Rothstein's Hymn of Light. Tickets are $15 general $10 students. If you're free you should definitely come for all the choir-orchestra-wind ensemble goodness. I know it's short notice but I wasn't able to post earlier because I was busy with rehearsals and stuff.

*also, if you're coming to the concert and live in the San Gabriel Valley text/call me so I can mooch a ride. Thanks.*

2) To all my SoCal friends: movie night at my place on either Thursday or Friday next week. I've been spending too much time commuting back and forth between uni and home/teh bf's place and not enough time with you guys. Bring movies and whatever snacks you want, and I'll have popcorn and some movies and Korean TV series. IM me for more details.

3) Geminid meteor shower peaks on Thursday to Friday. Let's watch!! Bring warm jacket/hot drinks/significant other/cuddle buddy

4) To all those with finals next week--good luck! One more week--just one more week!--and we can rest and breathe again.

5) To teh bf: ... You know.

6) enneira_jam, if you are reading this, FEED MY FISH OR IT WILL DIE A HORRIBLE DEATH BY STARVATION LIKE THE PREVIOUS ONE!

That's all. Must go charge my laptop, eat, study, rest, get ready for my concert, and face the 3hr slog back home...AT 11pm. 5hrs if the bus lines aren't running anymore and I have to bike. In the night. T_T

This weekend I will be running around like a decapitated chicken. Why? Yesterday, I sent my poor baby laptop to the Dell center in Florida, and forgot that my 15 page ethnic health disparities paper is due...NEXT WEDNESDAY. Not two weeks from now, like I mistakenly thought. WEDNESDAY NEXT WEEK. OMGWTFBBQ!!!!

Thank god my mum bought a new laptop, which I will be borrowing for the time I have left 'til I get my laptop back or the paper will be due, whichever comes first. I can't take it out of the house though, so thank god for library computers too.

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In other news, I had a very disturbing dream this morning. I don't wanna go into details, but the part I remembered the most was that I was screaming at the top of my lungs with grief and pain because bf was dead. It hurt so much when I woke up--I remember I was clutching my chest and silently crying when I opened my eyes.

I just kept crying for what seemed like a long time after waking. Then I realized I wasn't dreaming anymore--bf was lying beside me, holding me. Just seeing and feeling him comforted me a lot, but I still had, and still have, that awful feeling I had in my dream.

Bitch PhD had this wonderful article today about how women obsess over their food. Like, when faced with a giant tray of death-by-chocolate fudge brownies, women will sit around simpering, "OMG, these are so bad for you, and will ruin your diet, blah blah blah," and after around 10mins of self-flagellation about how they should not eat the calorie-laden snack from hell ™, they will just say "WTF, I'll eat them anyway."

I never understood this kind of behavior, and just like it annoys the writer of the article, it annoys the heck out of me. I do not obsess over my food. I eat it. I will comment a lot about how delicious or disgusting it is, but I will not beat myself up for clogging up my arteries with that piece of chicharon or bringing myself closer to getting type-2 diabetes with that sinfully rich slab of chocolate-covered cheesecake. Obsessing over food doesn't help you lose weight or get in shape--it'll only decrease your enjoyment of the calorie-laden snack from hell ™. The main reason you're eating the calorie-laden snack from hell ™ is because you want to enjoy, right?

Anyway, I have a simple solution to deal with people who obsess over their food. It goes something like this:

Food Neurotic: OMG, I can't possibly eat that, it's so fattening, do you know how many calories are in this, blah blah...

Me: Okay, I'll eat it for you!!

*grabs offending piece of food off plate and stuffs in mouth*

Me: Nom Nom Nom, yes, it IS so sinful and delicious isn't it?

This will effectively stop the Food Neurotic from complaining in both the short and long run--short run because she can't complain about the calories when they're in MY stomach, and long run because she knows that in the future, I will take her food again if she obsesses over food in my presence, and really, she does want to eat that calorie-laden snack from hell ™ even if she says she doesn't.

Ok...in case you will see me in the next couple of days and wonder why the hell I have large and unsightly bruises and cuts on my right cheek, chin, left arm, and right shin, it's because I was battered. Yes, battered.

By my brother's bicycle. @_@"

The bloody thing is definitely unsafe. I took it to return DVDs to the neighborhood video store/smoker's & tweaker's paradise and I almost crashed into a guy digging in the trash for recyclables because the handlebars got terribly misaligned with the front wheel as I turned to avoid him. WTF?!?!?! I didn't get injured then--I just fell--but when I got to the video store, I had to readjust the wheel with the handy dandy wrench I had in my bag. (Why did I have a wrench in my bag? Don't ask.) Then, when taking it down a hill, the frigging brakes failed!!!! I had to jump off the out of control bike, which made me hit a pylon HARD with the right side of my face, and then I rolled on the concrete, garnering a bunch of terrible-looking cuts, scratches, and bruises.

I'm just glad I was wearing my helmet, and that nothing broke in that fall. I would've hated it if I broke my jaw and was unable to eat, talk, or sing for a couple of weeks.

I want my bike back, or the new bike to arrive, NOW NA. I am NOT getting on my brother's unsafe, untuned bike again. *shudder*

Anytime you buy a bike that is not from a specialized bike shop (e.g. walmart bikes) please, PLEASE get thy asses to a local bike shop and have it tuned and adjusted properly. Have them check the all the cables, the deraileurs, the brake pads, EVERYTHING. Sure, you'll spend an extra $30-50 (and getting savings is probably why you bought a walmart bike in the first place), but what's $50 compared to having a trouble-free, injury-free bike ride and not looking like a battered wife after every ride?

...is the constant headaches and hardships one must go through to achieve success.

I'm beginning to wonder if my goals are really worth all the stress I'm putting on my body. I spend six hours a day--YES, SIX FUCKING HOURS--inhaling toxic fumes as I commute from the east to the west side of the city for school. It's like smoking without the kick of nicotine, which makes me actually want to start smoking so that at least I can get that little high while ruining my lungs. My sleeping pattern is screwier than a Home Depot screw aisle. I don't eat 4-6 times a day like I'm supposed to, which leads to incredibly bad blood sugar downs, which make me more tired, less alert, less able to do work, etc. When I do get to eat, it's usually cheap, unhealthy takeout because I don't have the time and money to get healthier stuff, plus when I get home, I can't eat dinner because I need to crash briefly after the six hours of commuting, spend whatever time I can trying to relax (this includes much needed happy time with teh bf), then go straight to work on whatever I have to do for the next day.

Breathe, breathe, I need to breathe.

I need to take a break from everything, but I can't because I'm caught on a hamster wheel spinning out of control, and there's no way to get out until the wheel stops of its own accord. Until then, I'll be running myself ragged.

I just hope I can pick the pieces up when it's all over.